If someone asked 22-year-old me what my life would look like at 34 years old, I am almost certain that I would have shared my long list of plans that included being married by the age of 26, having two kids by 28, and of course, a well-established career by 30. I chuckle a little when I think about it not because these aren’t wonderful aspirations and also not because they aren’t attainable. They are. The humor for me comes from the fact that my life looks nothing like what I imagined it would.
Just like the saying goes, “if you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.” I understand that on a deeper level now as I, a 34-year-old woman who is unmarried, without children, and still navigating my career, sit to type this article. Please don’t get the wrong idea - this is not a sad story nor is it one where I will write about how I no longer want any of those things. That just wouldn’t be the truth. Even without so much as a date lined up or a prospect, I still do desire the things I imagined I would have by now. The only difference is the lens from which I view those desires now that I’ve lived through a few things. I’m sure there were probably some things on that old list that are no longer significant to me or that could be categorized as superficial. That doesn’t mean I’m willing to settle. It does mean that life and my experiences thus far have taught me that net worth will never be more important than good character and doing kind things doesn’t necessarily indicate a good heart. I can honestly say that 22-year-old me didn’t really have an understanding of what real love and partnership looked like.
Truthfully, there were no examples of healthy love within my own family. I mention this because I didn’t know then how that reality affected me or shaped how I viewed certain matters. There was some hurt and disappointment I needed to heal from. There were some habits and mindsets I needed to grow out of which didn’t really happen until I was faced with experiences that forced me to acknowledge they existed. In many ways, experience doesn’t just teach us how to handle curveballs or the twists and turns of life, it’s also a mirror exposing parts of us we may or may not be aware of.
What would my life look like if the immature and unhealed version of myself got everything I asked for at that time? It’s a little scary to think about because my prayers are so different now. I don’t just pray for the blessing. I pray to be equipped to nurture and handle the blessing with care. God’s name is attached to the very things we seek from Him so it only makes sense that he would require preparedness or at least a desire to get there. One thing I am certain of is that God’s timing and His Will are absolutely perfect. Knowing this has helped me reach the point in my faith where although I still share with Him my dreams and desires because He is my Father and He cares, I also pray that He aligns what I want with what He wants for me.
Does it make waiting easier? No. But I remind myself that when it comes to the great and amazing things God can do, the human mind is incapable of grasping what that truly means. God doesn’t meet expectations, He exceeds them. I’m not telling you to shred your list of goals and dreams. Instead, I would like to encourage you to submit your rough draft to Him and allow Him to edit and delete as He sees fit.